Thursday, November 1, 2007

TOP TEN THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR IN CHURCH...

10. Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew.
9. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.
8. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.
7. I've decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.
6. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.
5. Forget the denominational minimum salary, let's pay our pastor so he can live like we do.
4. I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!
3. Since we're all here, let's start the service early.
2. Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.
1. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!

15 comments:

Joyismygoal said...

tee hee but your pastor would love to hear one of those

Anonymous said...

You're right, I never hear them but then I never set foot in those places. But if people did send their priests to the Bahamas, there's a good incentive to take up orders!

Lori said...

LMAO....shame on you;) Happy TT.

Raggedy said...

You have to make up 3 more!!!
We want Thirteen!!!
Terrific Thursday Thirteen!
My TT is posted.
Have a wonderful day!
Happy TT'ing!
*^_^
(=':'=)
(")_ (")Š
Raggedy

SJ Reidhead said...

You weren't at my church last week, were you? LOL!

The Pink Flamingo
http://thepinkflamingo.blogharbor.com/blog

Dane Bramage said...

You certainly wouldn't hear those in a Baptist Church anyway! I'll have to share those with my Pastor.

My Thusday Thirteen is up. It is the 54th Edition. The topic this week, 13 Television Shows Spin-offs! Stop by if you get a chance. Oh and Happy NaNoWriMo!

Anonymous said...

Teheee:) Nice lists!

Mine is up here;
Thursday Thirteen
Happy TT and Happy Halloween!

Anonymous said...

Alas---all very true!

Janet said...

ahhhh, so THOSE are the types of things you hear in church! Thanks for enlightening us ;-)

Anonymous said...

LOL Awsome and totally hillarious!

Wakela said...

LMAO! Great post! I will have to forward your on to a pastor friend of mine. He will love these!

Holly said...

Creative! Are you going to show this to your pastor/priest?

Tawnya Shields said...

Those were very good! Loved it.

Anonymous said...

oops, guilty as charged...

DrillerAA said...

Great list.
I'll be sharing some of these since I'm already guilty of most of them.
You also won't hear, "That guest soloist was great, we need more Christian Rap music in our services."